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April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. For more information, please read my latest article for the online edition of Psychology Today. Here is the link: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/spotlight-on-special-education/202503/april-is-child-abuse-awareness-and-prevention-month 
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 Graduate School
My first required course as an aspiring psychologist was ethics. l had to learn the Ethical Principles of Psychologists and the Code of Conduct by the American Psychological Association (APA). This was my first doctorate-level class, and I felt a sense of safety in the psychology field due to Principals D and E from the section, General Principals: Principle D: Justice Psychologists exercise reasonable judgment and take precautions to ensure that their potential biases, the boundaries of their competence, and the limitations of their expertise do not lead to or condone unjust practices. Principle E: Respect for People's Rights and Dignity Psychologists are aware of and respect cultural, individual, and role differences, including those based on age, gender, gender identity, race, ethnicity, culture, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, disability, language, and socioeconomic status, and consider these factors when working with members of such groups. Psychologists try to eliminate the effect on their work of biases based on those factors, and they do not knowingly participate in or condone the activities of others based upon such prejudices. Code of Ethics Recently, I started a literature review about the licensing standards for aspiring psychologists. I found a significant amount of evidence in research that highlights a seemingly disregard for Principles D and E not only in relationship to the development of the Examination for Professional Practice in Psychology (EPPP), but also the high rate of failures for aspirants. Psychologists are required to uphold their ethical principals, (pursuant to the Code of Ethics), and given the research to support significant problems with the EPPP, I fail to understand the lack of ethical accountability to those who create this examination and mistreat aspirants. Therefore, this blog discusses issues in the APA Ethics Code that relate to this examination and how they can been seen violations, particularly for fairness, equity, and bias. The Introduction and Applicability section states, “The Preamble and General Principles are aspirational goals to guide psychologists toward the highest ideals of psychology." It also reads, "Although the Preamble and General Principals are not themselves enforceable rules, they should be considered by psychologists in arriving at an ethical course of action." Yet, the design, implementation of the Examination for Professional Practice in Psychology (EPPP), and disparity in passing rates may conflict with ethical guidelines and seen as violations of the APA ethics code. If research shows problems with the exam, if the number of White licensed psychologists is significant higher than BIPOC licensed psychologists and if aspirants and licensed psychologists raise ethical concerns about the equity of this exam, my questions are as follows:
How the EPPP May Potentially Violate the APA Code of Ethics 1. Fairness and Justice (Principle D of APA Ethics Code) Issues:
2. Nonmaleficence and Beneficence (Principle A) Issue:
3. Competence (Principle B) Issues:
4. Respect for People's Rights and Dignity (Principle E) Issues:
5. Validity and Relevance Issues Issues:
Conclusion Public evidence to suggest that the APA has conducted formal investigations into potential ethical violations related to the EPPP was not found in my literature review. However, the EPPP has been criticized for potentially violating key principles of the APA Code of Ethics in numerous research studies. Nationally, there is a disparity amongst races in the psychology workforce and only 4% of licensed psychologists are Black (2% are Black psychiatrists), (The Black Mental Health Survey Report, 2022), which should be seen as an ethical violation due to unfairness. Other issues such as justice, competence, nonmaleficence, and respect for diversity all highlight the need for reforms. Ultimately, "if we are in the profession of identifying inconsistencies and incongruences, identifying pitfalls and areas for growth, and then providing the skills (and moreover the accountability) to our clients to result in effective change, should we not hold ourselves to the same standard," asks Dr. Charles R. Rohr, II, Licensed Clinical Psychologist. The high failure rates impact the profession since there is a shortage of mental health professionals which harms the public, as evidenced by the Health Professional Shortage Areas identified by the Health Resource and Services Administration. The APA can investigate external licensing bodies and the examination and licensing practices for the EPPP to ensure that the exam is both equitable and valid. Addressing these ethical concerns upholds the values of the psychology profession. Resources: www.apa.org/ethics/code abpsi.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/The-Black-Mental-Health-Workforce-Survey-Final.pdf; data.hrsa.gov/tools/shortage-area/hpsa-find  Image by Franz P. Sauerteig from Pixabay A Friend A close friend of mine's daughter had suicidal thoughts because she is a lesbian. My friend embraced her child. She reaffirmed her love, empathy, and support. Being a lesbian did not matter. Today, this child has completed college. This experience prompted me to expand my knowledge and research about suicidal ideation in LGBTQ+ children and youth. It was when I realized, I had to do more for LGBTQ+ children and youth. Each year, I devote time to celebrate Pride Month. Did you know? According to The Trevor Project, LGBTQ+ young people are not inherently prone to suicide risk because of their sexual orientation or gender identity but rather placed at higher risk because of how they are mistreated and stigmatized in society. The Trevor Project’s 2023 U.S. National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ+ Young People found that 41% of LGBTQ+ young people seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, including roughly half of transgender and nonbinary youth. These numbers are gravely disturbing to me as a mother, clinician, and human. No one deserves to feel disrespected for embracing themselves, which is why I celebrate Pride Month. Celebrate Pride Month Embracing the spirit of Pride Month is a time for joy and celebration. We honor diversity and inspire hope for LGBTQ+ children and youth. It is a reminder to help them grasp their true selves while celebrating their uniqueness. Even if you have mixed feelings, you must commemorate Pride Month because it offers numerous benefits that can positively impact the development, understanding, and acceptance of diversity in LGBTQ+ children and youth. Celebrating Pride Month is about honoring the history, achievements, and contributions of the LGBTQ+ community while advocating for ongoing equality and rights. History teaches LGBTQIA+ children and youth to build their intellectual, social, and emotional development which helps them to develop their identity and inspire future generations. Pride Month is saluted through this blog by sharing several key aspects of why the LGBQ+ children and youth should be celebrated: 1. Commemoration of LGBTQ+ History and Struggles Pride Month, observed in June, commemorates the Stonewall Riots of 1969, also called the Stonewall Uprising, which was a pivotal moment in the LGBTQ+ gay rights movement. Remembering the Stonewall Riots, where LGBTQ+ individuals protested against police brutality and discrimination, marking a significant turning point in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights. Honoring activists and leaders who have fought for LGBTQ+ rights and visibility is inspirational for me. It also challenges stereotypes and misinformation about the LGBTQ+ community. Examples of LGBTQ+ community activists that can be shared to empower LGBTQ+ children and youth include:
2. Celebrate LGBTQ+ Identity and Culture Attend Pride celebrations including parades, festivals, or other events. Create your own Pride celebration at home with decorations, music, and activities. Another way to celebrate is to affirm a child or youth's identity by using the their chosen name and pronouns. This acknowledges and supports their choice. Regularly tell LGBTQ+ children and youth that their identity is valid, important, and something to be proud of along with other positive affirmations. "Pride Month is one month, but inclusion is a daily way of celebrating the LGBTQ+ community," says Dr. Jason P. Chambers, Associate Dean for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, College of Media, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign. Other ways that we can show LGBTQ+ children and youth that we support them everyday can include: 1. Normalize Conversations About Diversity
2. Provide Support Without Singling Out
3. Encourage Friendships and Peer Support
5. Advocacy for Equality and Rights
6. Provide Access to Resources and Support
While everyone is unique, we all share much in common. Together, we can model inclusive behavior and demonstrate respect and acceptance in all interactions with LGBTQ+ children and youth. We can help LGBTQ+ children feel proud and confident in their identities. This support lays the foundation for a healthy, happy, and celebrate themselves daily, not just during Pride Month. Resources: The Trevor Project: www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/facts-about-lgbtq-youth-suicide/ History: www.history.com/news/stonewall-riots-timeline Harvey Milk: milkfoundation.org/about/harvey-milk-biograph Barbara Gittings: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Gittings Billie Jean King: www.billiejeanking.com/ Marsha P. Johnson: marshap.org/ Laverne Cox: lavernecox.com/ Pete Buttigieg: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_Buttigieg Amanda Stenberg: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amandla_Stenberg Rebeka Bruesehoff: www.rebekahbruesehoff.com/about  Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay Summer Plans? Summertime offers the perfect opportunity to slow down and take a break. So, is relaxation at the top of your list for this summer? If not, this should be a priority for you. Your children are out of school, the days are longer, and it is warm outside. Did you walk today? If not, take some time to spend being active. It's essential to learn to relax because your mental health depends upon it. I know that you believe that you have life under control; however, that is an unrealistic expectation about how life your life works. None of us are perfect people, and we are not capable of taking charge of every aspect of our lives. Examples include: Failure and mistakes. When failure happens, we learn from it and grow and if not, we should. What is interesting is when emotions arise because many believe that it is better to hide them which is unhealthy for our bodies. Each of us needs relaxation to release. When we do not grant our mind and bodies with the opportunity to "let go," it will remind us of what it needs to function and regulate itself. To have optimal functioning, you must seriously consider tranquility and loosening your need to be in charge of all aspects of your life. The consequences to our bodies can be detrimental and here are some reasons why calming yourself must become as vital as your physical health:
Your Personal Struggles with Relaxing My own struggle is with stress is lack of sleep which is due to menopause for me. Meaning, at times I am chronically tired. What about you? Work is typically a topic reason why we do not relax. Many of you work on days and nights when you are not even being paid! Remember, a job will replace you pretty quickly if needed. I want you to take the time to learn more about yourself by determining why relaxing is challenging for you. Create a list of those road blocks. Once you have your list of obstacles, write how they help you. If they are not helping you, then of course you need to change them because you are hurting. Let's fix this problem. Start by establishing boundaries. For example, if work-related tasks is your stressor then define your specific work hours and stick to them. Take the emails and Teams messages off of your phone for the weekends, or turn off the notifications. Make a rule for yourself that you will not respond until the new work day begins. Add deep breathing and other relaxation techniques to your daily regimen (i.e., I add prayer to mine). Other strategies that fit with your unique needs can be incorporated as long as you abide by them. By understanding what blocks your ability to relax, you can learn how to effectively unwind and rejuvenate, especially after a long work day. Find what works best for you and make relaxation a regular part of your daily routine. Improve your mental health!  Image by Charizsa Timkang from Pixabay  Image by Arifur Rahman Tushar from Pixabay Winter Blues Fall and winter can be hard seasons to cope with year after year. Some get sad knowing that the end of the summer marks the time when the temperature and daylight begin to change. The winter blues typically starts in the fall and winter seasons, when daylight hours are shorter. Feeling the winter blues does not necessarily mean that you have a mental health condition. However, the best way to determine that answer is to consult with a mental health professional who can assess and recommend appropriate interventions about your thoughts and symptoms. The fall and winter holidays can worsen these feelings for you. Memories of loved ones combined with cold weather and the early darkness in the sky does not help. Although Christmas is my favorite holiday, I do dread the dark skies and cold weather. You would think that I would be used to it being a Midwesterner, right? I am, but it does not mean that I do not want 90 degrees and an eternal summer (hello California). If your are overly consumed with your feelings and they are interrupting your daily living, or you are feeling hopeless and helpless, then you need more specialized care. I want you to pay attention to your symptoms. Personally, I conduct what I call "self-introspection" for myself especially in the fall and winter. What this means is that I focus on "self-checks" because I can get in my feelings and become annoyed and/or irritable with the darkness as the seasons change too. My personal self-introspections consist of the following:
You can do the same thing(s) in order to check your winter blues, and to begin to unravel where you determine the problems. The one issue that I repaired for myself this fall and winter is to exercise more often. I mentioned on a live video that I bought a walking treadmill. I use it daily, at minimal twice per day in 30 minutes intervals up to one hour. Soon, I'll be weight training as well. The other pattern that I repaired was to socialize more often with loved ones and friends. Like you, I get wrapped up in my immediate family and career that I am sometimes guilty of leaving out socializing with close friends and other family members. Beating the Winter Blues One thing that mental health professionals may fail to tell you is that you need to normalize your feelings. We are too busy diagnosing symptoms instead of humanizing your experiences combine with teaching you to cope better with them. Society tells us not to cry, especially men. Others will make you believe that feeling down, or having the winter blues, makes you weak or not as strong. I am sure that you have heard, "Suck it up" and move on. Not ok! There are people who seem to repress their feelings (yes, neurotic) and avoid them. Try not to do that because our bodies are designed to not only feel our feelings, but to handle them. What it cannot cope with is an overabundance of feelings because we withhold them. It causes chronic ailments (i.e., sickness, anxiety) and/or we learn to use unhealthy methods to make our bodies calm down (i.e., excessive drinking during the holidays). Instead, allow your body to manage your feelings and to let it become emotional. For example, if you have lost a loved one, why not cry if it hurts? If your girlfriend left you right before Thanksgiving, why not feel irritable about it? If you lost a job, why not panic and feel your rapid heartbeat or worry behaviors? Your Instagram smile is only real if you feel the joy that comes from it. Sometimes, society can make us feel as if we are unstable if we mourn over a loved one for too long or show that life issues attack and hurt us (i.e., job loss). However, we feel better when we feel: "I just needed a good cry." Heard of that one before? I have many times and it works to restore balance within our bodies, as well as emotional stability. For example, I rarely get angry but when I do, I allow myself to feel it for as long as I need to until it starts to go away on its own. Disclaimer: Do not take your anger out on others. I internalize my anger, write it down, cry if needed, think, talk, and when it dissipates I am ok and feel better. You can allow yourself to feel the winter blues and recover from it. To help, add interventions to your end of the summer routine to help you prepare for your winter blues. Here are some recommendations that I share with my personal friends and family:
 lisaligginschambers.com Our cookies made you smile, right? Training your brain during your winter blues can be easy. Focus on you first to inspect and determine where you need work, then make it happen. Along the way, make sure that you remind yourself that it IS acceptable to allow your body to heal by being emotional. (Cry when needed or punch a punching bag) Then, create a yearly plan to include interventions to prepare for your winter blues (this is no different than preparing for difficult family members at holiday parties). Once you increase your awareness of your winter blues, intervene, and prepare for it, you are learning more about yourself, your emotions, and ways to improve your winter blues. Most of all, your joy/happiness begins to surface which is what you want to happen not just in the fall and winter seasons, but for your lifelong journey. Merry Christmas to You and Yours! 'Let GO!" It is December 1st at 3:45am. Like some of you, I am just not sleepy or tired. Instead, I am thinking how many times did I have to "Let GO" of a person, job, and/or other things that seemed toxic in my life or did not fulfill me? Plenty of times from men to friends and in previous places of employment. Throughout the years I learned that self-satisfaction and happiness were priorities in my life. Not to mention, my self-satisfaction and happiness helped me to remove individuals and things that were not helpful. Sometimes it was hard, but necessary and worth it. When I reflect back, my choice to "Let GO" allowed me to receive the many blessings that came to me in the future. How did I "Let GO?" Life lessons is how I "Let GO" and learning from them as opposed to allowing myself to get sucked back into the same patterns and situations. Your life is your own journey and a testimony to others. There is no better time like the present to choose wisely and make changes for the New Year. We will discuss How to "Let GO," and what to do After You "Let GO!" How To Let GO Are you tired yet? Or, mad? If you answered no, then you will continue your unhealthy lifestyle. You can have what you want out of life if you change your thought processes. At times that means showing your emotions or allowing them to occur to feel distress. Many of you withhold your emotions as if there is something wrong with doing what the body does naturally - being emotional. On the other hand, changing your thought processes means setting new goals and following through with them. What's stopping you from letting go, but you? Let's explore a examples from comments that I have seen on social media to demonstrate how we can be toxic to ourselves with regard to our decision-making keeping us in bondage:
The inability to "Let GO" starts with why we remain in relationships and situations in the first place that causes us distress. This is influenced by a variety of things, such as our family history and childhood, personality traits, emotional connection, and societal expectations. We do form strong emotional bonds with others, and letting go may feel like losing a part of ourselves. My first heartbreak was in college and it was awful. Believe me, I understand. For some of us, letting go often involves stepping into the unknown, which can be intimidating. People prefer the comfort of the familiar, even if it is causing them distress. Investing a significant amount of time and effort into a particular relationship or situation may be a catalyst for staying stagnant in relationships and situations because it feels like acknowledging that the investment was not worthwhile. Some individuals may also feel societal pressure to maintain certain connections, even if they are no longer healthy. Letting go can be tied to their sense of self-worth or identity. The idea of moving on from a situation or person might be perceived as a reflection of personal failure or inadequacy. People may hold on because they hope that the situation or relationship will improve over time. The belief that things might get better can be a powerful motivator to persist despite challenges. This one can be dangerous as well, for a victim of domestic violence. Lastly, I know that once I was hurt in college, I did not want to go through the grieving process again over another person which caused me to stay in a relationship a bit longer although I knew it was not right for me. Letting go can be a process of grieving, especially if it involves the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a significant aspect of one's life. Grieving is a natural and necessary part of the healing process. What I did to Let GO was to start being realistic with myself while observing signs, symptoms, and patterns in people, jobs, and situations based upon what I learned from my previous failures. It is similar to keeping a mental rolodex about those things that gave me pause in relationships and situations. When they caused me to pause, I paid attention and started to think about what was happening. Pausing was used as a trigger for me to make a decision to stay and tolerate behaviors and issues or walk away without returning. A pause is an instinct not to be ignored. I stopped denying my instincts and leaned into them which is how I learned to "Let GO" even in a place of employment. As of today, if I pause it means that my instincts are telling me to listen. Then, I do comply with them. If someone walks into your life with the same patterns that you had in another relationship and you recognize the toxicity, that is your signal to stop and not move forward with that person by letting go. Staying hurts you more than experiencing other options that can possibly give you the life that you deserve. Let GO! After You Let GO This depends upon the circumstances; however, the benefits exceed the potential outcome of staying in toxic situations. It opens you up to personal growth, emotional relief, space for new relationships and opportunities, increased self-awareness, improved physical and mental health, freedom from toxic relationships, acceptance of change, renewed focus on priorities, and inner peace. You will be an entirely new you while developing your personality and characteristics because,
 Image by Валентин Симеонов from Pixabay My Story
I remember feeling panic when I found out that I was pregnant with my last child. I was surprised with an intense fear about giving birth at 41-years-old! On one hand, I could have said, "It all still works," but I thought... "How did this happen at my age?" I know, just go with it... Not to mention, my Obstetrician-Gynecologist (OB-GYN) kept saying things to me like,
Ok stop! My attitude was, "I AM NOT OLD!" Haha. "Stop talking to me as if I am 80!" It drove me insane especially because I thought, my crap works! Most of all, the baby and I were just fine. Yeah, I was fertile so watch out folks once you hit 40! Also, please know that I adored my OB-GYN and she took very good care of my "old butt" over a decade ago. (If you are in St. Louis, I will link her information at the end of this blog). However, it was hard for me to believe that I was being considered as very advanced material age; I felt so good and healthy, I guess I just never felt advanced. Honestly, I ignored all of the noise about being at a very advanced material age and just cared for the baby and I as we traveled through the next 32 weeks. My pregnancy was smooth; there were no concerns, and I delivered a healthy baby. Amen! "Old Dads," A Netflix Film 2023 I will not tell a lie. When I saw this film was released on Netflix, I did not not plan to watch it and Bokeem Woodbine is one of my favorite actors. For the life of me, I could not understand why Bill Burr and Ben Tishler thought of developing a comedy about old dads. I mean, men can have babies until they are 90-years-old if they want to but old moms take all of the physical risks associated in pregnancy after age 35, according to Cleveland Clinic. I mean, what do old dads go through that merited a film about it? Why did they choose men and not women? I went on and on with negative thought processes and irritated myself (laughing) because not only do I adore Bokeem, but I also like a good comedy. So, it made sense for me to watch it, and I did. The movie definitely showed the differences between old dads and moms in general, and I was delighted for the producers to show old dad emotions during the pregnancy process. Dramatically done, yes, but expressed in every aspect of their situation. Nevertheless, it seems as if I was not too far off about my initial hesitation about watching the film. Old moms face the emotional aspect of being very advanced maternal age, but also the physical process of the pregnancy while old dads, the emotional portion of it. Old dads can certainly take the pregnancy just a shocked as we do, but the movie depicted them as being confused jerks which was odd to me. Old Moms I read a lot about child development in graduate school. During my pregnancy, I viewed many articles about how the age of mothers impacts children. I learned that advanced maternal age can have both positive and negative effects on children. Understand that the age of a mother is just one factor among many that can influence a child's development, and the impact of being an older mother varies from family to family. Here are some potential effects: Positive Effects:
Summary There are many factors that contribute to a child's development, and the age of the mother is just one of them. What matters most is the love, care, and support that old moms and dads provide to their children. A positive way of being supportive to older parents is to offer emotional support. Provide a listening ear and emotional support allowing them to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without judgment. Validate their experiences and acknowledge the challenges they may face as older parents. Respect their choices, try to avoid imposing your own opinions, and support their decisions. Links: my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22438-advanced-maternal-age www.netflix.com/title/81674327  https://pixabay.com/photos/fist-bump-boy-outside-fist-gesture-933916/ "What If My Child is Aggressive at School but Not at Home? Since I hear this question a lot from parents, I wrote this blog to help you to determine the cause(s) for your child's aggression at school. If the aggression is only occurring at school, then your child has some control over their emotional outbursts. The key to determining the catalyst behind your child's aggression at school, is to find out the events that leads up to the aggression. Or, what precedes the aggression? Is the aggression due to their academic courses being too difficult? How about being teased or bullied? Problems at home? Childhood aggression in school is challenging for both parents and educators; however, understanding the underlying cause(s) and taking steps to manage and reduce it is key to dealing with it at school. Feel confident because you can get to the bottom of why it is happening at school, and work with your child's teacher(s) to determine solutions. Managing Aggressive Behavior at School Let's discuss how you can manage it at school. One of the easiest ways to do this is to communicate with your child and school personnel. This may sound cliche; however, many parents are not asking their children about their feelings, experiences, and what may be triggering their aggression. Do this while encouraging open and honest communication with your child. This helps to ensure that they feel safe when opening up to you about their aggression. Make them consistently feel heard. Help them understand that they are loved. Give them that stability. Be a presence in the school and stay in contact with your child's teacher(s). Attend school open houses and parent-teacher conferences to learn from your child's teacher(s) about their academic status and behavioral concerns. Many parents are NOT attending these events! I started being an active school parent when my children were in preschool and you must do this as well. Besides, your children will remember and appreciate the support. Next, I want you to observe their behaviors closely while paying attention to patterns and triggers for their aggression. Help your child to identify and process their emotions by recognizing and labeling their feelings. Encourage them to express themselves in appropriate ways and assist them with strategies to manage their anger and frustration, such as deep breathing exercises, counting to ten, or taking a break. If none of this helps to reduce their level of aggressive behaviors, then consult with your child's teacher(s) and school psychologist to help you assess the underlying causes and provide guidance. Work closely with your child's teacher(s) and school psychologist to address aggression in a coordinated way. Collaborative efforts between home and school are often effective. If your child's aggression is related to a specific disability or condition, consider working with the school to consider developing an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) that addresses their needs and provides appropriate support. If you are need of a more structured approach to address and modify challenging and disruptive behaviors, you can request and approve a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) and Functional Behavior Analysis (FBA) from the school psychologist. A BIP is a structured approach used in various settings, such as schools, homes, or clinical settings, to address and modify challenging or disruptive behaviors in individuals. BIPs are typically developed for individuals who exhibit persistent and problematic behaviors that interfere with their daily functioning and well-being. These plans are often used for children with behavioral disorders, developmental disabilities, or individuals with emotional or social challenges. Here's an overview of what a BIP entails:
A well-designed BIP is a proactive and positive approach to addressing challenging behaviors. It emphasizes understanding the reasons behind the behavior and teaching alternative, more appropriate ways of responding to situations. BIPs should be individualized and flexible, with the ultimate goal of improving the individual's overall quality of life and social functioning. Regularly assess your child's progress in managing their aggression. Adjust strategies and interventions as needed. Rewards and Consequences Make sure that you acknowledge and reward your child's positive actions and efforts to control their aggression. Positive reinforcement can motivate better behavior. On the other hand, clearly communicate consequences for aggressive behavior, and be consistent in applying them. The consequences should be reasonable and related to the behavior. Addressing childhood aggression may require time and patience. Be supportive, understanding, and willing to adapt your approach as you work to help your child develop more appropriate behaviors and emotional regulation skills. Therapy for Childhood Aggression Therapy can be an effective intervention to address the underlying causes and provide strategies for managing and reducing aggressive behavior. Each child is unique, so therapy should be tailored to their specific needs and circumstances. Therapy options that I typically recommend to help parents with childhood aggression starts with Behavior Therapy, as well as the other options outlined below:
 Image by Александра Туркина from Pixabay Q33: "What Can I Do To Stop My Child's Aggressive Behavior? You need to find out the reason(s) why your child is aggressive. Is the aggression only at home? School or daycare? Or both environments? These are a few questions that I initially ask parents whose children are deemed aggressive by them. Think about it for a moment: If your child is aggressive only at home and not at school, then your child probably has some control over their behaviors, right? Do you Understand? If not, let's break it down. What helps most children behave at school? That's right, consequences. There are consequences at school, (i.e., no recess and in-and-out of school suspensions). Your children are aware of them resulting in them behaving better at school. If your child has minimal aggression at school, then what could cause them to show their aggression at home? There can be many answers to this questions; however, you may have a lack of consistency in your rules or how you deal with misbehavior, (I.e., discipline) or consequences for your child's actions at home. What are you rules? When they are broken such as with acts of aggressions, how do you handle them? Mishandling aggression causes it to increase at home and there are steps you can take to determine the triggers that cause the aggression at home as well as school. What Is Childhood Aggression? Daily, I observe aggression in children. I witness children throwing objects at their parents' heads and those parents allow it to happen. Sometimes, parents argue with and sound similar to their children about the behavior, as if they are having a tantrum too. Many parents report to me as if I judge them, and I DO NOT, "I just don't want to spank (him or her)." Attention: Spanking a child is NOT the only way to assert discipline or structure within your home and with some children, even a spanking will not work to improve their behaviors. One problem here is that discipline does NOT start when children are 4, 5, and 10-years-old. More than likely, you are positively encouraging and supporting your child's aggressive behaviors, unintentionally, (I.e., yelling which gives your child your attention nor holding them and cuddling after they have hit you to calm them). It's simple math: (Behavior) When they hit + I cuddle (attention reinforces negative behavior) = more hitting (aggressive behavior). Attention: Your child's teacher does not cuddle your child after an aggressive episode. Childhood aggression refers to aggressive behaviors exhibited by children. These behaviors can manifest in various ways, ranging from verbal aggression (such as name-calling and shouting) to physical aggression (such as hitting, pushing, or biting). Childhood aggression is a complex issue with multiple potential causes and contributing factors. When you support these type of behaviors, they continue and increase as children age. Tip: Children are cute and cuddly as toddlers; however, they do grow up and you do not want this behavior from a 16-year-old teenager in your home. On the other hand, some degree of aggression is considered normal in childhood, especially in early childhood. It can be a part of a child's emotional and social development as they learn to navigate their feelings and interactions with others. However, it should decrease as a child matures and learns more appropriate ways to express themselves. While some level of aggression is typical in childhood, persistent and extreme aggression can be concerning. Warning signs may include severe physical violence, cruelty to animals, a lack of remorse or empathy, and other disruptive behaviors. Childhood aggression. has been researched by Psychologists for many years and most agree that it can take place in various forms, including:
To stop aggressive behaviors, it takes work. It is challenging, concerning, and the approach to ending them needs to be systematic and goal-directed. Pending the age of your child, remember, improving their aggressive behaviors can possibly take several years. You cannot ignore aggressive behaviors. You need to unravel or undo the behaviors that were created and that is not something that can be done in a day. Addressing childhood aggression is crucial to help children learn more appropriate ways to express themselves and resolve conflicts. What is Your Parenting Style? I know that learning to deal with aggressive behaviors can be exhausting; however, this is also the reason that I suggest to parents to start early with developing appropriate feelings and behaviors within their children. Do not allow aggressive behaviors to continue due to your child having a disability, being young, or thinking that it is a cute behavior that kids "just do." I have heard it all and collectively, your parenting style can be a catalyst for how your child learns to deal with their feelings. Parenting styles refer to the general approaches that parents use to raise their children. These styles are characterized by the attitudes, behaviors, and strategies parents employ in their interactions with their children. These styles can have a significant impact on a child's development, behavior, and overall well-being. Several prominent parenting styles have been identified and studied by Psychologists. These styles can have a significant impact on a child's development, behavior, and overall well-being. Here are four commonly recognized parenting styles, though not fixed categories include the following:
You, as a parent, may use a combination of these parenting styles and if you do, you are modeling those inconsistencies to your child. Your behavior directly impacts your child's development and behavior, and it is confusing for your child. Why? For a few reasons: Mixed Messages, inconsistent boundaries, emotional confusion, and conflicting expectations. When children receive conflicting messages from their parents about what is expected of them, it can lead to cognitive dissonance. For example, if one parent is permissive and allows a behavior while the other parent is more authoritarian and punishes the child for the same behavior, the child may not know which rules to follow and act out. Better yet, play the two of you against one another. My children tried this behavior when they were younger; however, we remained a united front against them and that type of manipulation against us. Inconsistent parenting also causes unclear boundaries in children. Children may not understand where the limits are and how they are expected to behave. This inconsistency can lead to frustration and anxiety for children. Different parenting styles may also create emotional confusion for children. For instance, if one parent is emotionally distant (uninvolved parenting) while the other is emotionally responsive (authoritative or permissive), children may struggle to understand and regulate their own emotions. When parents have different expectations for their children's behavior, children may feel pressure to meet both sets of expectations, even if they are contradictory. This can create stress and anxiety for the child. Some children will learn to adapt to your type of parenting styles or a combination of them, by becoming skilled at reading each parent's expectations and adjusting their behavior accordingly. While this adaptability can be seen as a strength, it can also lead to a lack of authenticity or a sense of not being true to oneself (they will say, "I do not know who I am). Children may use the differences in parenting styles to their advantage by playing parents agains one another or manipulating situations to get what they want. This can lead to power struggles within the family. When inconsistencies are extreme or lead to confusion and emotional turmoil, work together to establish a more consistent and coherent parenting approach. How Your Parenting Style Impacts Your Child? You are raising an adult and not a baby. Believe me, children do grow up and you want to them to productive citizens. This will not occur if you do not teach them how to cope with their aggression. We all had to learn! One incorrect decision can cost your child a significant amount of consequences, (I.e., physical aggression or fighting at school, harming others, and incarceration). You can cause them to have difficulty making decisions when they receive mixed messages in how the world will deal with their aggressive behavior. For example, your child cannot attend school and remain overly aggressive. Your school will stop that behavior and it may not be the type of consequence that. you agree with; however, other children, as well as school staff need to be safe. I have sat in enough manifestation hearings, school suspensions and expulsions, and worked in alternative schools to know that these are real consequences for students who cannot handle the traditional classroom settings. This is also true for students with disabilities. And Individualized Education Plan (IEP) will only guard aggressive children for so long and even then, they will have consequences for their aggressive actions. By allowing aggressive behaviors in your children, they may also become uncertain about what they should do in your home causing indecisiveness and/or anxiety. Ignoring the problem can ultimate lead to feelings of insecurity in children. They may grow to feel as if you are not a reliable source of support and guidance, which can impact their self-esteem and confidence. No One Teaches Us How To Parent You are correct! It is a learn on the fly skill; however, allow your instincts to drive your decisions. You know that society will not accept childhood aggression because you are fully aware of the consequences. Every family is unique, and what works for one family may not work for yours. Be adaptable and tailor your approach to your child to their specific needs and circumstances. Parenting is a highly personal and individualized journey, and there are some general principles and strategies you can use to become amore effective caregivers. Consider some of these options:
 Image by rbalouria from Pixabay  https://pixabay.com/photos/flag-america-usa-states-1291945/ Behaviorism When I was in my doctorate program, I learned about cult behavior. I also studied behaviorists such as Bandura, Skinner, Pavlov, Thorndike, and etc. Bandura and Thorndike are my two favorites not only because they were involved in the future of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), but because I firmly believe that our behaviors are learned and begin in childhood. Everything that we learn, as I always say on social media and to parents, begins on the playground in elementary school. I grew up in psychology learning about play behaviors such as rough and tumble, solitary, and imaginative play. If you observe children on the playground, you can discover why negative behaviors in children occur including bullying, as well as the type of children who follow bullies. The followers of bullies and children who played solitary were most interesting to me in graduate school. My mother constantly reminded me, "Have your own mind Lisa," "Be a leader and not a follower Lisa," and most importantly, "If your friend jumps off of a bridge, are you going to follow them?" I would always answer, "no" and she would reply, "Exactly." I did not realizing then how significant the latter would mean in my life as I grew into an adult. My mother was adamant about prayer, creating your own path, using your own mind, having your own wealth, and making good choices. I mimic the same principals with my own children. As a parent, I was never perfect and neither was my own mother. However, she wanted me to understand my worth. In return, I wanted to firmly instill in my children that they sure loved themselves, understood their worth as I do. Of importance to me is that my children will NOT compromise their integrity, especially for another person, and that person should not ask them to either. My mother gave me the foundation to study behaviorism; unknowingly, as she was shaping my behaviors. Once I became a mother and studied psychology with a new baby in graduate school, I would often mentally regress back to the lessons that I learned from my mother and on the playground as a child. While some children gained more skills with how to bully others, and the followers seemed weak and ignorant, I also observed how manipulation led to power. You see, even then there were certain characteristics of children who conformed to bullying behaviors and almost worshipped them. Once I was taught the psychology behind conformity in graduate (doctorate level) school, I put the pieces together. What is happening in politics with regard to behavioral norms including cult-like behaviors is not new, nor is it a mystery. Group polarization seems to be central theme in American politics right now meaning, less independent thinking and more attitude change due to the influence of the group. Making the best choice for a group is not as important than following a specific leader despite that leader's actions. Yet, here we are in American politics and we should be embarrassed about our current political state. "I am embarrassed." Cult-Like Behavior A consistent question that I see on social media that I am paraphrasing is, "Why do some people's behaviors in politics seem cult-like?" My response is that many of these individuals are opportunists, compromise their integrity, and that it is all theater. However, that does not address the question. Some of the behaviors shown in the news do remind me of behaviors that I studied surrounding joining cults. Cults meaning, the impression of worshiping a person and/or following a person despite their actions, (e.g., I see the wrongdoing, but I am going to follow that person regardless of their actions because it benefits me). Cults, also known as new religious movements or high-demand groups, are typically characterized by their charismatic leaders, rigid belief systems, and high levels of control over their members. Remember the phrase, "Don't drink the koolaid?  Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay First, let's explore the reasons why your political observations may seem similar to cult-like behaviors. People join cults for a variety of reasons which can be deeply personal and complex. Some common factors associated with joining cults are written below, and I underlined those behaviors that may specifically address your political cult-like behavior questions:
The Psychology Behind Cult Behavior Now do you understand why some individuals are vulnerable to cults? See the "behavioral" component? Let's add psychology to it and how it applies to cult behavior. The psychology behind cults is a complex and multifaceted topic that involves various psychological factors that contribute to the formation and functioning of cults. I typically start discussing individuals who join cults with the exploitation of needs. Cults often target individuals who are going through personal crises, searching for meaning, or seeking answers to life's questions. They offer solutions and a sense of belonging, and cults exploit these vulnerabilities to attract new members. They prey on social influence to manipulate and control their members, including peer pressure, groupthink, and the desire to conform to the group's norms and beliefs. Other psychological behaviors used to attract others into cults include the following:
How To Stop Cult-Like Behaviors Stopping cult-like behaviors is complex and needs to address psychological, social, and emotional factors. Many of you are concerned about this topic in politics and it can be a sore spot in discussions during events as well. Consider the following steps if you want these behaviors or discussions even in politics to improve:
Conclusion The process of addressing cult behavior requires empathy, understanding, and careful communication. If you believe the person's safety is at risk, do not hesitate to involve relevant authorities or professionals. Ultimately, the individual has the right to make their own decisions. Even if you disagree with their choices, respecting their autonomy is important for maintaining a healthy relationship. Leaving a cult or a political belief can be a long and difficult process. Be patient and understanding, as the individual may need time to recognize the problems and make their own decisions. Individuals who join cults are not necessarily weak or gullible. Many cult members are intelligent, capable individuals who have been gradually drawn into these groups due to a combination of factors. Understanding these factors can help prevent individuals from falling victim to manipulative tactics and encourage early intervention when someone is showing signs of involvement in a potentially harmful group.  For those who forget... Image by Kay Gregan from Pixabay |
