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"Dr. Lisa, I run around all the time for everyone else but myself. I am tired. No one else sees my exhaustion but me. So, is it ok not to be, ok?" Yes, it is ok not to be ok, and I am glad that you asked. Take notes...
1) Feel Your Feelings Learning that you are not ok is the first step in recovery. Your attention is now focused on how to manage your thoughts and feelings toward what you need to do to BE ok. You are human with feelings and should allow them to show themselves. We often use defense mechanisms such as repression (Freud), to make ourselves feel better when we experience anxiety. Right? It makes our reality seem less stressed than it is and in return, we refuse to sit our butts down and take a breather. You are not ok because life can get overwhelming. Talk to people who care about you and tell them the truth. 2) Recognize Your Truth Understand who you are and why you feel the need to constantly take care of others, but not your own needs. Your thoughts and feelings must be your priority. Listen to your instincts, but I know that you ignore them because you are focused on all things external. The internal, however, will explode if you do not stop and pay attention to it. The body can only take so much stress. Stopping also means protecting yourself from others by learning to say no. 3) Learn to Say NO People will treat you the way that you allow them to treat you. If you allow them to burn you out, they will and smile as it happens because they have what they wanted from you. Saying no to others is healthy because it causes you to build a boundary around what you will and will not do for others. If they get upset when you tell them no, you need better friends. Friends come and go but the real ones will understand and comfort you as needed. 4) Choose Better Friends You do not need to be Mr. or Ms. Popularity. Surround yourself with people who truly have your best interest at heart. Those are the friends who will have your back and want you to be ok. Tell them how you feel and what they can do to support you. Remove other obstacles for example, shady friends, from your life and you will have more peace. This includes social media which can cause a significant amount of stress for some who obsess over it:
5) Social Media For goodness sake, either delete all those social media pages, or temporarily deactivate them. You do not need the likes or know everyone's business. Guess what? They do not need to know yours either. If you delete or deactivate them for a while, do not go back on until you learn better social media management skills. For example, when you remember what it is like to live life without social media! But...What was life like before social media? Sneakier.... and a lot more peaceful. Final Thoughts Lastly, take a well-deserved break before you break. Do what is necessary to heal and take back control of your life. Many people neglect to take vacations. Money is a moot point because you can take a vacation right in the comfort of your own living room. The world can wait until you are ready to join it again. Good luck!
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