Q4: You're Not Dumb, You're a Preschool Parent!

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You're Not Dumb, You're a Preschool Parent!!
Preschool parents, this blog is written to empower you. Here are 10 reasons why YOU are right about YOUR child's development.

1) Intelligence: You're not dumb! More times than not, you are right about your preschooler. The challenge is taking too long to act when you are aware of something being different with your child. Different does not always mean something wrong, but things working well too such as a 2-year-old who can already read words. Use your own intelligence to advocate for your child's needs. If one professional tells you no, find another one who will say yes. 

2) Instincts: Continue to use your instincts. You are a direct observer of your child's behavior, needs, and wants. You have direct knowledge of whether or not your child is thriving, and you are the most valuable resource on behalf of your child. Use your instincts to guide you in decision-making for what is best for your child. When others question your instincts, you tell them, "I know my child best for my child,." and be proud of the decision to hold onto your instincts.

3) Historian: You are a natural historian for your child. You have been there since birth or adoption, and have the historical record needed for schools and professionals. Keep all of your paper work and show that documentation to others who may doubt your claims about your child. You prove to them that you are right by way of your direct observations and history.

​4) Kid Comparisons: Every child is unique and will develop within his or her own time. It is easy to view your preschooler against other preschoolers and wonder if "something" is wrong with your child. I advise parents not to make those comparisons; not even gender-based ones, because this can cause you to make unnecessary assumptions. The better route would be to use your own knowledge, feelings, and intuition to discern what is occurring with your preschooler with a trained professional.

5) Dr. Google: A favorite method of determining, "What is wrong with my kid?" It makes me laugh, especially in reference to mental health. It is even worse for preschoolers. You are far more correct about your child's needs than Dr. Google. Set Dr. Google aside and contact your Dr. Pediatrician for answers. If you need to seek Dr. Google for answers, then you need to consult with a professional and do away with the internet. By the way, the personality survey are incorrect too!

6) Use Your Village: It truly does, "Take a village" to raise children, use your village to help you to raise your preschooler. When you have questions about your child's development, ask your village about your thoughts. Other parents and relatives can be very helpful in assisting you with working through your ideologies pertaining to your preschooler. Your village can be a valuable resources for offering suggestions for improvements. Hello grandparents! Try not to be afraid to be open with others about your concerns. The teenage years are coming and you will need your village to support you; start now, it is necessary.

7) Always Changing: Your children are always changing, and the worry never goes away but you will learn to manage it. Allow yourself to let this process happen. Too many people tell preschool parents to let go of their feelings, or to move on quickly from their thoughts. No! Allow your feelings to happen because at each developmental stage of growth in these little ones, you will become sad, happy, or a combination of feelings even simultaneously. You will feel up and down emotionally, as will your preschoolers as they gain independence. Heck, you may even cry with them sometimes and that is ok too. You are allowed to be in your feelings, so do so. Outsiders will always make judgment calls or try to tell you what to do to cope with your child's ever-changing experiences and behaviors. You know exactly what to do; make that your priority, not other people's opinions.

8) Behaviors: This is big one! Some forget what it is like having a child 3 years and under in public, whew, I have not and I remember it being difficult at times. Still, take those babies out in public despite your fear of tantrums or other uncooperative behaviors. How else will they leave to behave in public? When you are faced with negative behaviors, you deal with them without giving into their demands. This also goes for children with special needs as well. Please do not feel sorry for your children due to their condition to the point of not structuring their behaviors. All children can learn. What do I always say? Kids are cute and cuddly, but they grow up to be adults. You do not want a 15-year-old child on your hands with behavior concerns overall, but especially in public. Train them as preschoolers to respect social rules as well as your rules, and in return, you will produce productive and well-behaved teenagers and future adults.

*Side note: I remember when one of my kids had a major tantrum in Macy's in Chicago. I was so mad, sweating, and upset. I moved out of her way, kept shopping while I kept my eye on her, and waited until she was done. Yes, I just let my child holler on the floor in Macy's without giving into any demands. Other mom's were around and smiled at me. A few shared that they remembered those days. I was calm and cool; however, just as soon as she was done and looking for me, I walked up to her, took her hand and guided her to the bathroom. When we came out of the bathroom, a woman said to me, "I'm not sure what you did, but I admire how you handled your child." Biggest smile ever! You can do it too! Oh, and I never had another problem out of my child publicly. :)

9) Preschool Attendance: Some of you are torn on this subject, but you really do want to place your children in preschool. It is a good idea, and I would like to see you try to enroll them into your public home school district first before going private or using alternative schooling. Preschool teachers in public schools are equipped and trained to deal with and observe early educational disabilities, and they are good at it. They will teach your child in a manner well-suited for kindergarten attendance within your school district. Trust them and their process for observations of challenges that may need early childhood intervention. These are issues that many parents are unable to spot because by now, you have adjusted well to your child's needs and their potential struggles. Meaning, some parents will unintentionally compensate for their preschooler's needs and behaviors. Preschool teachers will refrain from that and keep an open-mind pertaining to a preschooler's development. Their perception of your child's early development will be unbiased, and based upon their observations they can provide interventions to suit child's needs. Additionally, children learn well from other children and you want your preschooler to learn social interactions, play, and behaviors from other preschoolers. 

10) Special Education: Preschool teachers, along with your instincts and data, are key to determining if a child requires educational testing and assessment. Empower yourself here because YOU are in control, not the school. Be empowered knowing that NO decisions can be made about your child's educational needs without you. You are a partner with the special education team to ensure that your child's education plan matches his or her current needs. Many preschool parents are new to the special education process and completely rely on the special education team to educate them about all things special education. Educate yourself in the special education process in order to work with your special education team. Be aware of your State Laws and your rights as a parent of a child who requires special education services. If your child requires additional help from special education services, rest assured that this is the right thing to do early for your child, and the benefits outweigh your reservations. Early childhood educational interventions is the best choice, not waiting until your child is in kindergarten. I created a "Special Education Journal" just for you, to help you to track your own data about your child, and to make navigating the special education process much easier. I had preschool parents in mind when I created this logbook. Here is the link: amzn.to/3VEtPax

You've got this!

Image by Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay