Q16: "Teenagers and Racism"

Teenagers and Racism

Image by Eris from Pixabay

Question: "My Girlfriend Is Racist, I Love Her But I Don't Know What To Do About It." "She Is Terrible At School Toward Other Kids Who Are Different." "What Should I Do?"

Answer: This is a heavily packed question, and I am going to enjoy answering this one, thank you. If you can discuss this matter with your parents, that is best. To answer you directly, love can be a strong emotion for teens and if you love your girlfriend, talk to her about your feelings against her ideologies. If she is unable to resolve what you perceive as racism, then you must make the best decision for yourself going forward in your relationship..

Teens in relationships commonly believe that they need to be dedicated to their signifiant others like being married. You are not married, and it is easy to walk away from someone who does not seem to fit with your personality. It is much better to learn who you are now and what you will or will not tolerate from another person.

Love yourself 1st and that will empower you to make a final decision about whether you can deal with racist behavior from your girlfriend. It is never cool to be hurtful toward another person. Here are a few tips:

• Start a Conversation
  • Communication is key in every relationship.
  • Have an open conversation about how her actions make you feel.
  • Try to understand why she thinks this way and acts the way that she does.
  • No judgment or shaming her, but she may not be aware that her behavior is hurtful.
• Educate Her
  • Racist attitudes can be held due to lack of knowledge or not understanding cultures and communities.
  • Help her learn more by sharing articles, videos, and books that highlight experiences from people of diverse backgrounds.
• Challenge Her Behavior
  • Call her out on her behavior! 
  • Be calm and respectful.
  • Tell her that the behavior is not acceptable.
  • Share how she can do better in the future.
• Set Boundaries
  • If she will not change, set boundaries in your relationship.
  • Tell her that you do not condone her attitude or racist behavior.
  • You need to be in a relationship with someone who shares your value and views.
• Seek Professional Help
  • Racism is a complicated issue. Seek help to address it.
  • Talk to your parents, a therapist, or a counselor to help the two of you navigate this issue in a safe and constructive way.
  • Racism hurts...

Image by 1388843 from Pixabay

Factors that Contribute To Teenage Racism: A Clinical Perspective

• Lack of Exposure
  • Believe it or not, there are people who have not been exposed to other races and cultures
  • They "think" they know what other cultures consist of and represent based upon their own ideologies
  • This is usually done by way of their sources of information or media
    • Television news or social media articles and comments that portray certain races and cultures in a negative light
• Behavior Modeling
  • Racism is a learned behavior taught to teenagers by observation
    • Caregivers model racism to their teenagers showing that it is acceptable in their environment toward by way of the following:
      • Microinsults
      • Microinvalidation
      • Microassault
• Positive Reinforcement
  • Racism develops overtime in teens due to positive reinforcement of their racist behaviors
  • Parents who create this behavior in their teens will typically deny it 
    • Teens follow their parents' lead and defend their actions when hurtful toward another
    • Their behaviors are not corrected by their parents for their racist behaviors
    • Teens will mostly deny the behavior as well; thus, the cycle continues
• Cyberbullying
  • Teenagers are using social media platforms to racially discriminate against other teenagers
  • Racial epithets are learned
    • Racist images are frequently seen on social media
  • Teens are using unfair treatment toward others who are different than them
  • They are excluding other teenagers due to race, culture, and ethnicity
  • Using "cloaked sites" or ones that disguise cyber-racism or disseminate racist ideology
• Internet Exposure
  • Teenagers are exposed to propaganda and online hate recruitment from the internet
    • This area is still being studied
    • It may occur by accident and teenagers are awkward and vulnerable 
      • They learn by clicking links that take them to denial sites
      • Racism can be designed as humor 
        • How many times was Former President Barack Obama's picture was displayed as a or with a monkey in a meme...
      • Teenagers may feel empowered and in control when learning this information
      • Most know that it is wrong
  • Some teenagers may appreciate this information and are drawn to it because it supports what they have already learned
  • It is ok teenagers to read and support your ideologies, but it is wrong to hurt others
  • There are consequences to every action. We all need love not hate. 
    
    • Don't be a hater!