I want you to imagine me looking out of the window with Child A while asking an alleged demon to make the spider move then,
The spider’s legs, simultaneously, wiggled!
I sat there for a moment in disbelief collecting my thoughts.
That movement was not good enough for me at all.
This spider sat idle and moved all of its legs. There is no way for a spider to do that without moving its body to another space. Still, I was not convinced. Child A was very excited and kept telling me, “See, see Dr. Lisa, I told you!” I just looked at Child A and then looked out the window and said,
I do not believe you, now make the spider move again.
Well damn. That spider moved up the window in a diagonal line across the window!! I jumped up, but I was pregnant and could not move fast, so I just sat back in my chair next to Child A in complete shock. Child A stood up in excitement next to me while saying,
I told you that I am not lying, this is real!
I never called Child A a liar at all. Actually, I believed the stories. I just sat there; what was I supposed to do at that point, tell the kid that it was our imagination? I just saw the spider move with my own eyes! This child felt vindicated, and I had to support it because it did occur as I requested it.
I was stunned.
Many children have told me that they could see ghosts, but I never tried to find out myself if ghosts were real. Many of the kids would speak to the ghosts while with me, but I did not them to prove the realness of their sightings. I wanted them to feel as if I believed them.
Child A and I decompressed and this child hugged me many times afterwards. Very sweet child, and I wanted to understand why this event made Child A very happy. It was a different feeling for this child to have an adult witness what has plagued Child A for a long time. Child A had no fear or discomfort with regard to what Child A could see and as we were sitting there, Child A kept telling me that the demons wanted me ask them questions again.
Going forward in therapy, Child A put the pressure on me to speak to these demons. Child A became a bit obsessive with wanting me to talk to the ghosts during every session. Not to mention, Child A felt the need to constantly look out of the window, as opposed to paying attention in therapy, to invite the ghosts into our sessions.
Child A would tell me,
They know that you will not allow them in the room with you.
They do not like your Bible.
I do not want your Bible in the room Dr. Lisa.
I prayed and cleansed my office space prior to Child A’s arrival. I was not comfortable at all with this child speaking to demons. I was not fearful of them, but I learned a lot about demonic activity by the time that I met Child A. However, this child was persistent and according to Child A, my rejection of demonic requests angered the demons. Child A would leave my office, and have nightly conversations with those demons about me such as,
• Sometimes they look like little kids
• They hang out in my closet all day and wait for me
• They tell me not to see you
• You are not helping me
• They are my friends, not you
• I must leave you because they do not like me seeing you
• You are of God and they do not like it
• They will not touch your Bible because they do not like the Bible
• I don’t think I like your Bible either
See how much influence ghosts can have on a child? I started to get bothered by what the demons were telling this child. I would always debrief with Child A’s parents after therapy sessions to provide them with a summary of the session. I told Child A’s parents what Child A was sharing about nightly rituals with these demons. The father continued to believe that his child was just “crazy,” but the mother was supportive. She was also happy in most sessions, because she believed that her child was moving in a positive direction, therapeutically. She mentioned that understanding how to use the gift properly was her goal, and to eliminate any anxiety that Child A may have felt as a result of this ability. Child A’s mother was also persistent, and felt comfortable knowing that Child A was discussing these sightings with me.
Child A’s level of anxiety decreased because I develop ways to get Child A to express more thoughts and feelings surrounding Child A’s visions. I had to get clever with Child A because this child was being torn between what the demons were commanding versus therapy. It was not easy at all. Actually, this was probably one of the most difficult cases that I had with Nebulous Children. Despite it all, we worked together for several months until Child A began to follow the instructions of the ghosts toward terminating therapy. Child A’s parents did not want to end therapy, but this child was determined to prove that therapy was no longer needed. Therapy with Child A was terminated, and although Child A’s mother was not pleased, she complied.
Sadly, sometimes, you have to let the kids go.
Even when you know that your work is not done.
I do not know what happened with Child A.
Shortly after Child A’s family terminated therapy, I decided to enter building number 3. I cannot lie, it was dark upon entering and scary. It was rare for me to get creeped out by older homes, but this one even smelled heavy (That old smell). This was an old Victorian home; very large, and just gorgeous. Through the back door, you enter into the kitchen. It was brighter due to the windows, and it was a light green color. As you walk through the kitchen, you could see the living room which was red. It was dark with the curtains closed and the dining room to the right with the staircase dividing the rooms. No one used the front door because building 3 was only for administrative staff and human resources, but no client services. I tried to remove fear out of my mind and proceeded up the stairs. Obviously, I thought about the staircase having grey smoke on them since that is what Child A told me, but I walked up the stairs anyway. There were staff in the building upstairs, and I was able to take care of what needed to get handled. I walked back down the staircase and mind you, at this point I may have been 8 months pregnant and gripped that handrail as if it was nobody’s business.
I walked back through the home to get outside. It was a hot day in St. Louis, and it was so bright outside that I felt relieved to get out of the home. I think I was preparing to go on maternity leave which is why I had to see the HR staff in that building. Otherwise, I would not have gone into it at all – I was warned. The back porch was small and it had a short staircase. I walked down the first set of steps and,
I fell down the flight of steps, but did not fall.
It felt as if I was pushed down the steps, but somehow held up from falling. I want you to imagine something being behind and in front of me that caused the fall, as well as the save. I thought that I missed a step and “almost” fell. I always held onto the railings pregnant because I was so big that my equilibrium was off at times meaning, I thought that I saved myself by holding onto that railing. But, that “almost fall” was weird to me. At least, I felt strange about it because it really did feel as if something pushed me. Of course, I believed that it was my imagination and I wrote it off to something that just happened to me.
Or, was it?
Enter Child B
There are some families that come under your care that you simply adore. I will not deny that about Child B’s family because they were incredible as a family unit, as well as their concern about the well-being of their child. Upon meeting them, they were extremely friendly, communicative, and told me on day one during their interview that they could all see ghosts. All? Are you kidding me? A family of Nebulous individuals? Never had that happen in my career before, but here we go…
I was still located in Building 1 when I met this family, and their largest concern about Child B was this child’s ability to see ghosts and how it impacted the child’s daily living. The parents were confident that their ability to see ghosts was under control, but they did not like Child B having conversations with ghosts…at all.
Another Nebulous Child was on my hands.
Child B was immediately comfortable with me upon contact which psychiatrically, was a bit odd. When you work with kids, you have to be aware of behaviors along with conversations. Child B would sit close to me, want to rub my belly, and I was treated as if I was very special to Child B. Although that was an amazing feeling, you cannot get sucked into your own feeling and remain clinically focused. Instead, it made me question if Child B was somehow traumatized within the early years, and had trouble with appropriately interacting with strangers. I asked the parents if their child was initially this friendly with all strangers? They responded,
No, just with you.
Child B was guarded around adults, but not at all with other children according to the parents. Child B’s parents shared their concerns about Child B behaving poorly at school, such as being physically aggressive with other girls. Child B was suspended from school quite a bit, and the parents believed that Child B was listening to the ghosts commanding that type of behavior at school. How did the parents know this may have been the problem? They could see and hear ghosts too, but also had other unique talents that I had not experienced with other clients.
The mother could envision past events. She was a story-teller.
The father was able to discuss past history, but could also command that demons go away.
This family believed in God and sought help by way of their Pastor. I learned all of this information in my clinical interview with them. Needless to say, it was an interesting first day with them. I conducted this child’s psychological testing and assessment, as well as conducted psychotherapy with this family for about a year. This is a family who started with me in building 1, and we moved to building 2. This family waited on me to return from maternity leave because Child B would not see anyone else in the interim. When I returned from maternity leave, I asked Child B and parents why was that decision made despite my recommendation to work with my colleague during my absence?
Child B: “Ummm no, I will not see anyone else, only you Dr. Lisa.”
Child B’s mother stated, “Child B “Will only see you.”
Mother: Because Child B only feels safe with you.
Child B interrupts: You see this teddy bear Dr. Lisa?
Child B: Take it home, it’s yours.
Me: No, it belongs to the agency.
Child B: No, it is yours, an angel told me to give it to you from her and you have to always keep it.
Me: An angel?
Child B: Yes, your angel. She will visit you one day to show you that she is real.
She wants you to have this bear as a gift from her to you.
Mother: Take it Dr. Lisa. She is behind you telling us to tell you to keep it and know that
God is always with you.
Me: Is it haunted? No way!
(I am careful about what I bring into my home. Hey, you would be too if you witnessed all of this paranormal stuff)
Child B: Yes they can have ghosts move them. Eyes move in dolls.
Mother: But this is from God's angel who protects you.
Sometimes ghosts enter toys and watch us.
I asked my Director if I could keep the bear and she did not care at all.
Here is the teddy bear.
I still have him.
The angel did appear to me.