Blog 5: Unraveling The Truth

Blog 4 was heavy, I read your feedback. Believe me, it was even heavier in person! Not to mention, these types of situations continued to happen to my former clients. People walk into our lives for many reasons, but for me it has mostly been to teach. I learned many lessons from even random people who I have met walking in the streets, or strangers sharing their stories with me in grocery stores. I started working with individuals diagnosed with HIV/AIDS years ago, and I recall one man who became a teacher to me, although he is probably unaware of it. He was a butthead sometimes, but I adored him because he was extremely street smart. He reminded of the boys that ​I attended high school with in
East Cleveland, Ohio.

Nashville
At the time that I met this man, I was in a Master’s program learning about school psychology. I worked full-time with him, and he told me that he had full-blow AIDS. That’s what we said back then, “Full-blow AIDS,” (T-cell count, zero). He will always remain memorable to me because when I felt lost in psychology, I remember one lesson amongst many that he taught me: “Just because you don’t have (HIV) doesn’t mean that you can’t treat them,” and “doctors who never had broken legs can still fix them.”

I wrote my Master’s thesis about the attitudes of college students regarding HIV,
​based upon this man’s story.
I also dedicated it to the 1st Black female college student diagnosed with HIV/AIDS.
​She died of an opportunistic infection
​in Nashville.
This blog is also dedicated to the numerous individuals diagnosed with HIV/AIDS
​that shaped me into the
Psychologist that I am today,
​in Nashville.
*One love*

When I was faced with more difficult clients, that statement helped me to remember that I was capable and equipped to properly deal with them. Although Nebulous children were not all behaviorally difficult, treating their symptoms was hard, and that pertains to all of them. To explain, I was unable to see ghosts and I could not understand what a lot of it meant in reference to their mental health. I felt afraid at times and lost, but very compassionate about treating them. From Nashville, I headed to St. Louis, and then to Chicago.
Let’s briefly discuss my learning in Chicago.

Chicago
While in Chicago, the goal was to complete my Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D.) degree. While doing so, I met some children and graduate students similar to the ones from blog 4. I also met undergraduate students who had the ability to see ghosts, and shared with me quite a bit about what dark and light meant, angels versus demons, and how they correlate with one another. That was interesting to me. They taught me all about what it means, how they manifest, and what I could do to assist the children under my care. I understood a bit better, but I still had a long way to go. Here’s some of the knowledge gained from those undergraduate students:

"When children tell you that they see dark, those are dark spirits and can be harmful."
"They can make them behave poorly."
"If they see white, that’s good because it’s God’s angels."
"Yes, spirits can follow them to school."
"We are always surrounded by spirits, but the majority cannot see them."
"If they saw them, they would be frightened because it’s scary."
"I learned how to control my gift"

St. Louis
Eventually, I took all of my learning back to St. Louis which is where I spent the most time with
​Nebulous children.
I already mentioned that I learned a lot about aborigines from my former Pastors,
however, I will share more details within this blog.

My former Pastor understood when I did not, and he shared stories with me that he heard from members of his congregation about how they are able to see spirits. I mentioned to him that one of my clients told me that when my Pastor preaches his sermon, a demon sits in front of his lectern.
This client also said that he has angels hanging from his lights as he preaches on Sundays. The Pastor said, “I believe them.” He had also heard that angels line up in front of his lectern as he preaches.

Phenomenal right?
Same stories, but different people
​and in different situations.

The ability for people to see ghosts was becoming real to me. Not that I did not believe it, but I needed to fully understand how to distinguish this ability from mental illness. My former Pastor and I sat down for a long time and discussed what I was experiencing with children. Then, he gave me two books to study. One book was by C.S. Lewis which was a game-changer for me. The Pastor shared with me that I need to be completely familiar with what was happening, how to pray with the children, pray for myself and my family, and how to differentiate between children who do have this ability versus those who may be deceptive. He reminded me,

“Dark spirits or demons, are deceptive.”

Since that time, I have been a supporter of C.S. Lewis’ books. I have not read all of them, but the ones that I have read were great tools for my learning. I also started reading about other Psychologist’s encounters with children who can see ghosts. Then, I studied how to work with these children, and how to know when their symptoms are a mental health crisis, along with ways to manage their symptoms.
Of course, I watched television shows about Psychologists and other individuals hunting for ghosts. I am sure that some of you either watch them now, or have watched them too.

Lost Children
My concern grew for these kids. Sometimes it was due to watching the terror within their eyes.
Other times it because I did not know how to help them.

“They told me not to see you Dr. Lisa, you like angels and they do not like it.”

That is a true statement about me. I have always loved God’s angels. However, how would the kids know that private information? That was not something that I revealed to my clients. Furthermore, what was I supposed to do about the above statement? Unfortunately, a few of these children would not see me again. Overtime, I learned that I needed to manage this initial reaction and/or response to me on day one. It became hard to do because I was unaware of what I was dismantling within these kids. It also became almost impossible to battle especially when the children’s parents would give into the
behaviors of their children.
For example, if the parents were aware that the children believed that the ghosts were telling their kids not to see me, they would comply, and the children would not return for therapy.
To clarify, I did not have one parent who wanted their children to stop therapy,
but at times these spirits were stronger me.

The Bible
“There are lots of dark angels in your office.”
“They do not want me to talk to you.”

Children would often share with me that there were spirts in the room with us; dark ones, and that they demanded no conversations with me.
Or, they would share that they are outside of windows and doors waiting for them.
The kids were scared. So,

I have kept a Bible in my office for over
​20 years.

I also prayed and cleansed my office space prior to the kids and parents seeing me for services. I would ask God to send His angels to protect me, the children and parents, and my office space.
Did it work? YES! How do I know?
Because the children would report that my office space felt less heavy and the air was clean or fresh.
Often, they would share with me that “white angels” were in my office space and around me.

Did these changes feel weird to me?

Well, it felt comforting. Initially, it seemed odd because Biblical knowledge is not something that I was taught in my Clinical Psychology program. Nevertheless, I had to focus on what the children were saying to me although I had no way of confirming their visions – initially. What became clear, however, is that these children continuously shared the same experiences and symptoms without knowing one another, or each other’s stories.
Remember, all client information is confidential.
However, if you are told the same stories along with symptoms for years, you tend to start putting it all together.
And for some reason, these kids had a tendency to find me despite my location.
I asked a child who could see ghosts why this
happened to me?
This child responded,
“You are their angel. They have been with you before, and they feel safe with you.”
Well good!